Al Pacino's License Plate

I spotted Al Pacino's car today on the street.

Do you GET IT?


Oh I'm pleased with myself, I don't know about you. Or you.

Today's Special: 50 YEAR OLD BEAVER!

Everyone who loves anniversary beaver has cause to celebrate today: Leave it Beaver, turns 50 today. USA Today has taken pause to honor the contribution the show made to television and to exclusively reveal three of its stars are still alive!! And one of them is a sculptor!! Holy shit, way to go Beave's big bro. But the real story is that their prestigious USA Today feature does not include a pie chart or graphic of any kind. NOT EVEN A STANDARD ISSUE BAR GRAPH? WTF USATODAY? So I grabbed a protractor and some crayons and made one myself. Want to know what it looks like? I pasted it to my bible so I never lose it. Don't worry King James, its one of those naughty reform bibles with the bible study lessons after each chapter. Remember when I spent a whole day thinking about the questions after the book of Daniel? Those lions were tough, but Jesus is tougher. Lesson learned for sure.

MORE BEAVER!

The beave article did include a nice little section about the relationship between the one-time co-stars: "The two friends laugh, making it clear that they also share another brotherly quality: deep affection." Uh oh, the Menendez brothers shared that too. That means the only things separating these two from a rampage are some shotguns, alleged juvenile abuse by thumbtacks, and a made-for-TV movie starring Edward James Olmos. Watch out 91 year old Barbara Bilingsley.

Its worth noting that USA Today describes old June Cleaver's voice as "quivering." So gentle reader, sleep soundly and dream of the days when your voice quivers as you describe your feelings about the fiftieth anniversary of your beaver to USA Today. Let's hope that's not the only thing quivering! You will also be an accomplished archer. Archers be quivering. I know what you were thinking, and really all it took for you to think like that was the word quivering? Too many health text books is your problem. You're gonna make it after all.

Goals for the last few months of 2007

-Create an internet dating site called PandaDash.com
-Rerecord all of Sting's albums as Sea Shanties
-Make a human out of rocks
-Open an LLC
-Make ornaments out of trout

More to come...